The description says that make Haiku from the one of the pictures from dailyshoot.
Many of you guys know the dailyshoot website is closed and we can't access to.
But I thought I really have to this assignment because! I'm Japanese and I think I really look like recent traditional type of Japanese teenager. By the way, I'm still teen!
As we can't access to the pictures from dailyshoot, I just took a pic and use it for doing Haiku.
You are so lazy cat
When I'm working really hard at school
You are sleeping at home
The description of this assignment is from http://ds106.us/2011/03/22/haiku-it-up/
I love this haiku, it captures all my pent up aggression towards my cat.
ReplyDeleteThe haiku you made really fit into the rules of Japanese haiku rules (5-7-7 words). Even without the photo, still you can imagine the situation or the atmosphere that the words create. Under the Japanese rules, there must be a seasonal word that represents one of the four seasons in Japan. In your case, "cat" could be the one since "cat" is the seasonal word for spring (sometimes also for winter) in Japanese haiku literature.
ReplyDeleteWhat I would like to suggest though is that it might have been better if you put comma right after the word "lazy" in the first line since you are talking to the cat.
This is a very impressive execution of the Haiku assignment. It's one of the most perfect one's I've seen.
ReplyDeleteI don't mean that in terms of the syllable structure of haiku because I don't know about that. To me it's perfect because the words you've put together are a perfect match for the picture of your cat. There is tremendous amount of meaning in 19 syllables you've used. Well done.
Regarding Shinichiro's point on the comma - I think I agree in terms of grammar. But poets have been known break such rules when necessary. The line looks cleaner without the comma. Perhaps using 'a' instead of 'so' would maintain the syllable structure - but then the meaning changes a bit too, doesn't it.
Bottom line, this is totally excellent!
You are a poet
and you really ought to
know it
(I know it's not a haiku, but it rhymes)
I love this photo -- so much more than the lazing cat tells a story here. The wood, the light, the shoes. Who wouldn't want to be in this home? Yet, the cat is there while I work.
ReplyDeleteLovely.
wonderful Haiku!! I love your cat!!!Super Cute!
ReplyDeleteI guess this is more like a Senryu, coz it doesn't include a word related to a season.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think I could sense how you envy the cat and love the cat at the same time, and that sweet little dilemma drove me crazy ... suffering for cuteness! lol
I love cat and I always wanted to have a cat when I was little, but I had two dogs, so I could not have a cat. Anyway, I think it is great Haiku. Since it is very difficult to create English Haiku this Haiku is Awesome!!
ReplyDelete